The family is the main place where we develop our self-esteem. It can also be a place where self-esteem withers. I intentionally act in a way that builds self esteem when family palmer get together, letting my kids help me makes them feel good. I can see the benefits in their attitudes and behaviour.
Virginia Satir was a family therapist who influenced and touched people all over the world. She was a pioneer in the study of self-esteem, and had this to say about families: “Feelings of worth flourish in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”
But if you grew up in a family where one or both parents were abusive, where there were unresolved mental health problems, or where alcohol or drugs were an issue, you know that family life can be very different from this description. In fact, it can be downright damaging.
Perhaps, now it’s time for you to take on a parenting role, and maybe you’re wondering if you can break the cycle. Or maybe you’ve been a parent for a while and realize you could be doing a better job of it. Whatever your situation, you’ll benefit from taking an honest look at your strengths and limitations.
You see, when you acknowledge and accept the past, reach out for new understanding (as you’re doing now), and then decide you’d like to raise your kids in a better way, you are breaking the cycle. And you are building your own self-esteem – the first step in helping your own kids to do well.
My wife and I split up some time ago, the boys no longer accept her abusive behaviour when they see here. I resisted breaking up the family palmer for four years now I wish it had happened years earlier.
